Ocean Colour Scene Found In Van

The band Ocean Colour Scene have been discovered in a minivan on the A317. It is thought that the veteran Britpoppers, who topped the charts with such hits as The Day We Caught The Train and The Riverboat Song, could have been stuck there since 2001.

The musicians were found when a motorist reported the immobile van as suspicious. Expecting a fullblown terrorist invasion by evil arabs, police sent a bomb defusal squad to investigate. They were surprised to find the brummie four piece huddled inside the van.

"So cold", guitarist Steve Craddock is reported to have said.

The band appear to have gone missing during a tour of small venues. It appears that they were travelling to a gig, which was then cancelled en route. Confused, the band headed for the next gig on the tour, but were forced to pull into a layby when they ran out of petrol. That gig was then also cancelled, and the group have been waiting ever since.

It is not clear exactly how long the band have been missing, as their disappearance was never officially reported. However, the length of their hair and toenails would indicate a period of years rather than weeks. The Britpop stars seem to have only been kept alive by the kindliness of a local idiot woman who supplied them with a daily rider of breadcrumbs and dog milk.

Ocean Colour Scene formed in the early nineties, releasing a handful of pub rock records until humourless curmudgeon Paul Weller plucked them from obscurity as his backing band. They then went on to sell records by the thousand, as well as soundtracking Chris Evans's universally beloved "TFI Friday" show on Channel 4.

But in more recent years, the band's fortunes have slid, with more cutting edge acts such as Toploader, The Stereophonics and Robbie Williams replacing them in the nation's hearts. Music experts say that might have been the reason why the band's disappearance went unnoticed.

A new charity has been set up to highlight the plight of former Britpop bands, and it is hoped that enough money will be raised to fund a gig for the group in a nearby town. But other acts, including Shed Seven, Longpigs and Mansun are still at risk, and police are desperately trying to confirm their whereabouts.